How Many Baboons Could You Take In A Fight?

Created by Oatmeal

Disney To Buy Comics Giant Marvel For $4 Billion : NPR

Disney To Buy Comics Giant Marvel For $4 Billion : NPR

I hope that Disney handles Marvel better than it has handled Disney Comics and Gladstone in the past!

Bill Maher: New Rule: Not Everything in America Has to Make a Profit - BLOGGA PLEASE

I would never want to be Bill Maher, but I do wish that I wrote this post:

Bill Maher: New Rule: Not Everything in America Has to Make a Profit - BLOGGA PLEASE: "If conservatives get to call universal health care 'socialized medicine,' I get to call private health care 'soulless vampires making money off human pain.' The problem with President Obama's health care plan isn't socialism, it's capitalism.

And if medicine is for profit, and war, and the news, and the penal system, my question is: what's wrong with firemen? Why don't they charge? They must be commies. Oh my God! That explains the red trucks!"

Ryan North is the BEST

Not only is Dinosaur Comics my very favorite thing to read (notice how it's the only link in this blog's framework that I am not involved in creating), and not only is Ryan North, the comic's writer, a genius in various fields, but he is also an exceptionally considerate human being.

I say this because, as you may know, my fiancée and I (are trying to buy a house/have been actively trying to buy a house since May 2nd... which makes it 96 days since we started, and 90 days since we finished our mortgage application!) and I cannot get my mortgage people to even talk to me, let alone respond in a timely manner. Ryan North, on the other hand, responded to a business email I sent him within the same minute I sent my message to him even though he was "just off to bed"!

In other words, Ryan North rules!!! Thanks Ryan!

Pathetic Fallacy

I'm terrified
and trying to sleep.

Thunder startled me;
rain came down in torrents.
For a brief time,
hail joined the rain.
The power flickered
and went out
and flickered
and went out
and stayed out
for three straight hours.

I'm still terrified
and trying to sleep.

Literary critics tend to
frown upon
pathetic fallacy,
particularly
when the setting,
especially
the weather, is
a reflection
of the
protagonist's mood.

Yesterday I
felt like I
was in a piece of
unfortunate literature.

For the past two days,
I've been
terrified
that something
will prevent
us from closing on our house.

I haven't slept well.

I'm also brooding,
sulking,
pouting
that I
haven't found
a local job yet.

Opposing my antagonistic
protagonist's mood,
I visited the Book Nook
to search for
Forward the Foundation.

The Book Nook
had only
one copy
of only
one book
in Asimov's
Foundation series.

Unbelievably,
the one copy
of the one book
was the one I needed,
the one I was looking for.

Pathetically fallaciously,
on my trip back
to my temporary
living quarters,
my car reflected my mood.

As I pulled onto the
street I was aiming for,
my "change oil",
"service engine soon",
"low traction",
and "advanced braking system"
lights all came on
in unison,
in simultaneity.

Opposing my antagonistic
protagonist's mood,
I checked Sarah's email
to see when we
could reserve our wedding venue.

Sarah's email
had only
one new message
in only
one account
in her inbox.

Unbelievably,
the one message
in that one account
was the one I needed,
the one I was looking for.

Pathetically fallaciously,
yesterday afternoon
just like
the night before,
the weather reflected my mood.

Thunder startled me;
rain came down in torrents.
For a brief time,
hail joined the rain.
The power flickered
and went out
and flickered
and went out
and stayed out
for three straight hours.

I'm still terrified
and trying to sleep.

Re: The GOP Goes Viral

Dear Ms. McCain:

Did you notice the formal colon instead of the informal comma in the salutation? I am pretty sure that this open letter is the first I've ever written, and I would like to start by saying that I have been a fan ever since I started paying attention to you - when I read "My Beef With Ann Coulter" on 2009 March 16. The article was written on my birthday, which I have described as "the best birthday present I've ever inadvertently received from a stranger." I'm a fan of both you and your father, in real life and on Facebook. I, like SCMax101 commented on your March 9 article, "really enjoy what [you write] even if I [ . . . ] disagree with it." You are an intelligent and talented sociopolitical thinker and writer.

Unfortunately, in your article published yesterday on The Daily Beast, "The GOP Goes Viral," you say in the subtitle, "Democrats and their lackeys (read: Jon Stewart)." Later in the article you suggest that "the writers at SNL and The Daily Show have all the fun — more often than not making fun of Republicans." While Saturday Night Live is unabashedly liberal, these statements are slanderous toward Jon Stewart. Frankly, Ms. McCain, you are above slander and should not be making such statements.

Watching The Daily Show easily dispels the idea that Mr. Stewart is any sort of a liberal "lackey." Stewart is fiercely independent and rarely gives his personal views. His political position is that of a perpetual devil's advocate. Stewart is exceptionally honest and thoughtful. To call Jon Stewart a liberal lackey makes you seem generally ignorant, which you certainly are not. Since Obama's election, Stewart has been as critical of Mr. Obama as he ever was of his predecessor, Mr. Bush. For example, see the recent segment, "That's Great Now Fix the Economy."

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
That's Great Now Fix the Economy
www.thedailyshow.com

I am not cherry-picking. Watching random clips is comparable to flipping a "conservative"/"liberal" coin.

Peggy Noonan - Ronald Reagan's speech writer, the real one - is a Daily Show favorite, and Bob Dole used to do guest spots about as often as Lewis Black.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Bob Dole
www.thedailyshow.com

In his most recent interview of Bill Kristol, Mr. Stewart, in a rare moment of admitting to his personal politics, declared his personal support for your father in 2000.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Bill Kristol
www.thedailyshow.com

By the way, Mr. Kristol will be back on the Daily Show on Monday, 2009 July 27. If you watch the show, you will undoubtedly see that Mr. Stewart is uncommonly fair and honest. Also, he is far more critical of the news media than he is of politicians themselves. You are better than slander, Ms. McCain. You are much too intelligent and respectable to throw around childish straw-man names like Ms. Coulter is fond of doing.

Sincerely and respectfully,

Jon Clucas
Bad Mutha Booboisie


P.S.
Personally, I had a hard time during both of the last two presidential elections deciding who to vote for.

In 2004, I could not decided which candidate seemed least incompetent. When I saw the purple heart band-aids at the 2004 Republican National Convention, I decided to vote for John Kerry out of respect for real purple hearts and disrespect for mockery of personal sacrifice.

2008 was tougher. Your father and Mr. Obama were both already favorites of mine before the primaries. They continued to be personal favorites throughout the election and are still two of my favorites. I insisted and insist that John McCain and Barack Obama are two of the most capable people to ever run for the office of the presidency. There are two things your father could have done to win my vote in 2008, and he could have done either, not even both:
1) He could have chosen virtually any other running mate. Ms. Palin frightened and frightens me - as an American, as a feminist, as an agnostic, as a humanist, and as an independent.
2) He could have voted against the ridiculous bail-out / stimulus bill. If either he or Obama had voted against the stimulus, my mind would have been made up then and there. After being so excited about having two candidates that I admired and admire to choose from, both of them voting in favor of the stimulus package was a huge anticlimax.

I hope your father gets another shot at the White House. He certainly deserves a turn in the Oval Office.

• Jon Clucas. "I wonder what A-Rod would want Bristol Palin to name their child...". Johnny Baby and His Discontents. 2009 June 12. http://jlorifiedj.vasegurt.com/2009/06/i-wonder-what-rod-would-want-bristol.html.
• "Delegates mock Kerry with 'purple heart' bandages." CNN. 2004 September 1. http://www.cnn.com/2004/ALLPOLITICS/08/30/gop.purple.hearts/.
  
• Bob Dole & Jon Stewart. "Bob Dole." The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. 2000 November 7. http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-november-7-2000/bob-dole.
  
• Meghan McCain. "The GOP Goes Viral." The Daily Beast. 2009 July 22. http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-07-22/the-gop-goes-viral/.
• Meghan McCain. "My Beef With Ann Coulter." The Daily Beast. 2009 March 9. http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-03-09/my-beef-with-ann-coulter/.
• Lorne Michaels. Saturday Night Live.
• Jon Stewart. The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
• Jon Stewart. "That's Great Now Fix the Economy." The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. 2009 July 2. http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-july-2-2009/that-s-great-now-fix-the-economy.
• Jon Stewart & Bill Kristol. "Bill Kristol." The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. 2008 October 30. http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-october-30-2008/bill-kristol.
  

Buttersafe Ads

Buttersafe is one of my all-time favorite comic strips. When I first discovered Buttersafe, I suspected that my good friend Drew wrote the comic under the duel aliases of Raynato Castro and Alex Culang. Drew writes and sometimes draws a comic called Hero which I publish and draw; Drew has a very similar sense of humor to the Buttersafe dudes. Eventually I came to realize that these comics were indeed from someone other than my good friend Drew. I am honored that the Buttersafe artists have taken advantage of the cheap advertising on this blog! As a quick example of Buttersafe's awesomeness, I present their comic dated 2009 July 9, which I have not been able to stop thinking about since then, Dracula: